The most stupid film I've seen in two months and I wouldn't change a second of it. Not perfection like Kingpin but belly-laugh brilliant and worth watching just to see Will Ferrell in a leotard.
The acting is all hammed and the ice-skating is hilarious. It works because it doesn't try too hard, they know you'll laugh just looking at the screen.
Yes the plot is retarded but there actually is one. Two vicious ice-skating rivals have to share Gold in Stockholm. They fight on the podium and are banned for life. Four years later one works in a shoe shop and the other is a drunk in one of those "On Ice" shows. The Stalker of one points out that there is nothing stopping him from entering the pairs tournament in Montreal.
Yes you guessed it, the two old rivals become the world's first all-male ice-skating pair. The mutual loathing provides some fantastic nut-shrinking physical humour and of course this leads to them actually ice-dancing together at which point I had snot shooting out my nose.
The competing team could have been more developed as comedy characters. Will Arnett (Gob from Arrested Development) is a bit wasted in it but he has some good one-liners.
It's crass, silly and utterly harmless. If they got rid of the whole silly "sex-addict" plot-line, you could show it to a five year old. I'd happily watch it again.
The only thing I knew about this movie sitting down was that my wife had read the book a few years ago and Sean Penn directed it. I eventually gave up after two hours of watching a selfish brat do whatever he wanted.
The story follows a young man who is sickened by modern society's obsession with owning and buying "things". He is shown to have had a difficult relationship with his parents. This presumably because all tortured souls are like that because of their parents. He hits the road and the movie jumps back and forward between his eventual demise in Alaska and his long route to get there.
I think we are somehow supposed to feel empathy for the character. I had none. I can see why a self-obsessed narcissist would appeal to those living in Hollywood but at least the same types of characters in the movie business actually create something. What did this pointless waste-of-space create? A best selling book for someone else?
So we get to see him meet up with lots of crusties and hippies and nice people contrasted crudely with the mean establishment people.
Eventually he gets to Alaska and lives in a broken down bus in the middle of nowhere in deep winter. He survives for quite a while doing nothing useful for mankind or himself. I gave up at this point but my wife tells me he ate some bad roots and died. I don't care and neither should you.
Like many people of my age, I have fond memories of the Rocky movies. I wasn't expecting much of this and for the first three quarters of the movie I was proven correct. But the last 30 minutes made up for the rest.
"My" Rocky was Rocky III with the still great Eye of The Tiger. It was 1982 and I was 14 years old. I still remember being blown away in the cinema by it. It was actually years later that I saw numbers I and II. It all went to hell after that.
So when I heard he was making another one, at his age, I cringed. Of course that cringing turned out to be key to the plot. The movie is written and directed by Stallone and suffers from it. The dialogue is painfully bad all the way through and much of the plot is cookie-cutter silliness. Current champ is un-appreciated by the masses, Rocky has many ghosts of his life haunting him. Media creates buzz around who was/is the greater champion and so an "exhibition" match is arranged.
All the way up to this point I was close to turning the movie off. But then the music starts and the training begins with the brilliantly written "So, what we'll be calling on is good ol' fashion blunt force trauma. Horsepower. Heavy-duty, cast-iron, piledriving punches that will have to hurt so much they'll rattle his ancestors. Every time you hit him with a shot, it's gotta feel like he tried kissing the express train. Yeah! Let's start building some hurtin' bombs!"
I've always enjoyed the training scenes more than the fights in Rocky and this is no exception. Wow, can that man push his body. Whilst his face is a mess of poorly executed plastic surgery and bad hair dye, his body is still amazing.
The fight itself is superb and the outcome is the only one that makes sense. Sure it's a bit predictable and warm n fuzzy, but dammit, still enjoyable.
If you can ignore a script which consists of maybe 10 stock phrases used over and over then you won't mind sitting through this.
I was disappointed to see that they split the two Grindhouse movies after the double-bill flopped in the US. But anything by Tarantino is worth watching and I was looking forward to Death Proof despite only reading the bare details about it.
It is done in pure 1970's style despite being set in the present. He even put flaws and bubbles in the movie for that "authentic" look. I know this messing about annoyed a lot of people but I just reveled in its lighthearted silliness.
The story follows a set of girls wandering around Austin in their car having a fun old time. They are being followed by Kurt Russell in an evil looking automobile. Nothing really happens for an hour in the movie since it is all about dialog and visuals. The girls are all street-smart and a little slutty and I was thrilled to see the chronically mis-cast CSI from NY in a role that suited her vampy looks.
Unfortunately for the girls, Kurt is a psychopathic ex-stuntman in a car that is "Death Proof" due to its reinforcement. The first climactic scene is genuinely shocking and even tho you know what's coming, the cinematography takes your breath away. Tarantino swears he didn't use CGI so I'd love to know how he did it.
The movie then switches to following another bunch of women who all work in the movie industry including two stuntwomen. One of them (Zoe Bell) actually plays herself. The long scene with her riding the bonnet of a Dodge Challenger is fabulous even if it is just a blatant "look what we can do without CGI" two-fingers to the rest of Hollywood.
The psycho returns and meets his match. The movie ends pretty suddenly in a slightly unsatisfying way but overall I loved every minute. As always with Quentin, the soundtrack is awesome and a must-buy.
I'm looking forward to seeing Robert Rodriguez half of the double bill now.
I have become a huge fan of Jamie after originally (like many people) hating him. But this garbage did his reputation no favours at all and was even worse than Fowl Dinners a few days previously.
This will be a short review since I haven't finished watching it yet and I'm not sure if I will. It was just pure tabloid trash with lots and lots of pseudo-science from so-called nutritionists. Add to this the German bloke who cuts dead people up and displays it, and you had a recipe for a programme that makes Big Brother look intellectual.
The intent was good - get people to understand the effect of eating badly on their bodies. But it was so preachy, so heavy handed and so amateurishly made, it will have minimal effect on those who need to listen most.
Slicing a 25 stone man in half along with a 12 stone man, to show fat deposits - yawn. Putting a woman in a bath and filling it with vegetable oil - double yawn. Showing how much crap come out of an average Ugandan - kinda funny. A woman realising on the show that statistically she only had seven years left to live - actually a great TV scene.
Is anyone in nice middle class right-on Channel4 going to research and study the demographics of who watched the Food Fight programmes. Gosh I wonder will it be nice middle class right-on Channel 4 viewers?
There was a big build up to this all week with reports of a run on frozen scallops and deliveries of 40KG of Kalamata Olives. The idea was that Gordon would cook some dishes live along with self-confessed incompetent and slob Chris Moyles and tons of people around the country would join in and see how easy it is to cook good food quickly.
So we didn't actually watch it live since we were out having a meal, but it was just as good recorded. I'm an enormous fan of Gordon as a restaurateur and entrepreneur. I also adore Kitchen Nightmares but detest the F Word and Hell's Kitchen. This programme was in the style of the F word but I could quickly tell they had dumped most of the shite.
The dishes he had picked were exactly my kind of food. Scallops with a tomato and olive salsa, steak with chunky chips and rocket salad, chocolate mousse. All were trivial to cook and even Moyles was able to do it easily.
The cooking was interspersed with some of his F Word cookoffs against some B-listers which was superfluous. He also had cameras in Big Brother, a naturists kitchen and Janet Street Porter's house. Again I didn't think these added anything.
I did actually thoroughly enjoy the programme but a countdown timer might have added a bit to the tension and would Gordon ever stop slapping the back of his hand? A decent end to a great week of food programmes.
It is repeated at 8pm on Sunday and is worth checking out.
I'm not totally sure why I bought one of these since the FON lies barely used by anyone. However its very low price combined with promise of major range extansion made me think I could focus more on the internal usage of it rather than by any passers-by to our business.
The item itself is about the size of a thick paperback book. It is an unattractive grey plastic block with approx 3m of cable to connect to the FON. Obviously there is zero setup involved.
I must say I'm impressed with it. We run four different wireless routers in different rooms in the office and when I use the NetGear client software to scan, the FON always registers as the strongest signal. It even beats the MIMO ones router which is designed for distance.
If you have a FON and want to increase your reach, this is a bargain.
Channel 4 continues its Food Fight Series with the slightly silly but still interesting programme. They took four people who were obese and very unfit and brought them to Pakistan to the Shimshal tribe. This tribe is considered to be one of the healthiest on the planet. The aim was to see if the health of the "Fast Food Junkies" would improve.
They picked a nicely mixed bunch, each with a different angle on eating badly. One man ate four Indian takeaways a week, the other had a sedentary lifestyle and hated veg. One woman ate sweets and biscuits constantly, the other drank herself silly all the time.
The doctor who was with them tried the shock tactics approach "you'll kill your liver" "you are 20 but have the body of a 50 year old" etc etc but to no avail.
They were completely grossed out by the food offered to them which included 8 year old yak butter and yak cheese. I found this diet interesting as it basically proves that you can live on tons of dairy as long as you have a very healthy energetic outdoor lifestyle. The Shimshal people ate little meat and mainly concentrated on pulses, breads, vegetables etc.
Of course bit by bit the lazy sods got into the swing of things. One had to head home due to appendicitis. There was a bit of silly nonsense with the English people feeding fry-ups and take away curries to the locals so they could compare food. There was also the obligatory yak slaughter to remind us all where food comes from.
At the end of the month, there was no huge surprise in the fact that they all lost a large amount of weight. What did surprise me was that the 50 year old man had got rid of 88% of the dangerous fat in his liver. Or "two fat ladies" as the doctor said.
Not the greatest TV programme ever made but it actually caused me to have a plum instead of nibbling on salami out of the fridge.
This might seem an odd thing to review but given that I've never really "done" London properly until recently, I thought I'd give my thoughts as an middle-aged visitor.
Over the past twenty years I've been back and forward to London many times but always in the same way: fly to London, arrive ariport (Heathrow, Gatwick, Stanstead), tube to event, attend event, tube back, fly home. So I never got to see the place.
We spent a few days there recently and I finally got my bearings. I now know where the financial district is relative to river, where the London Eye is, how the theatre district flows into Picadilly. I have to say I enjoyed every minute.
The tube is a horror but an efficient one. Does anyone ever really get comfortable in the stations which only have lifts after the terrible fires? We took a taxi one night to a restaurant and utterly regretted it due to the amount of time it took.
We did an unusual tour of the place avoiding obvious things like Buckingham Palace but revelling in great architecture everywhere.
London is a city everyone should do once in their lives. But hell I could never live there!
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